IELTS Writing Task 2 — Teacher Feedback

IELTS task prompt
Task 2 — Agree / Disagree
Solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of an international organization rather than each national government.
Do you agree or disagree?
Task Response
Coherence & Cohesion
Lexical Resource
Grammar
Improved-answer feedback
Student Essay — 375 words

The international organisation should be responsible for addressing environmental issues rather than a single country. In my opinion i agree with this statement due to several reasons.

On the one hand, some might believe that environment problems are national governments responsibility due to some potential foundations. First, international can not demand or force a country to follow the law they implemented if they do not willing to. These global agency can only ask for cooperation. In fact, even one of the largest global group like The United Nations can only send documents to inquire about coordination from powerful countries including China, the USA and Vietnam without any means of compelling member states to act. Furthermore, there is no one size fits for all policy that can adapt to many countries due to the differences in geography and economy of different countries. If the intergovernmental organisation demand every countries to reduced the same amount of greenhouse gasses, it would be unfair for smaller countries that produce less gases and the fact that it will effect badly to the economy of these smaller countries.

On the other hand, in order to address the environment issue need a international organisation to stand up and take the responsibility because environmental problem is not a local problem but a global one and a single country can not make barely any difference to cure this crisis.

Primarily, local pollution can affect badly to the whole ecosystem around the world and make consequences that irreversible. In fact, when factories in a single countrie emits greenhouse gasses it can contribute to the global problems and then accelerate the speed of many nature phenomenon such as melting glacier that rise the sea level posing threat to countries that have city lying under the sea level. Furthermore, fighting against climate change is not a thing that a individual country can possible do. In order to shift the climate trend need many countries that willing to sacrifice a part of their benefit for the earth. For example, only a small countries like Vietnam decided to cut down their industrial branch to become a green countries and big nation like China continue to release tons of carbon dioxide to the nature it will not make a difference.

Rhetorical plan được giữ nguyênBài có counter-position ở Body 1 và support position ở Body 2. Không cần đổi cấu trúc chỉ vì có thể dùng một template khác.
Vấn đề lớn là sentence controlNhiều câu có 3–5 lỗi agreement/word form/collocation cùng lúc, khiến ý hợp lý trở nên khó đọc.
Reference chain còn yếuCác cụm như “international”, “these global agency”, “they” thiếu noun/reference rõ. Dùng an international body → such organisations → member states.
Ví dụ nên phục vụ logic, không mang gánh nặng fact-checkKhi không chắc chi tiết về một quốc gia/tổ chức, hypothetical example thường an toàn và vẫn đủ phát triển argument.
IntroductionPosition: international responsibility preferred.
Body 1Why national governments may seem better: enforcement + country differences.
Body 2Why coordination is still needed: cross-border effects + collective action.
ConclusionRestate balance: local design + international coordination.
Sentence controlMỗi sentence nên có một central grammatical frame trước khi thêm subordinate clauses.
Academic voiceƯu tiên compel, coordinate, apply, disproportionate burden, beyond national borders hơn khẩu ngữ hoặc collocation dịch trực tiếp.
Example controlNếu ví dụ không cần một fact cụ thể, dùng hypothetical conditional để giảm rủi ro factual overclaim.
TR ≈ 5Position nhìn thấy và có hai phía, nhưng phát triển còn bị hạn chế bởi câu diễn đạt thiếu kiểm soát và một số examples chưa được trình bày rõ.
CC ≈ 5Paragraphing rõ, nhưng sentence-level progression và reference còn yếu.
LR ≈ 6Có range chủ đề khá tốt, nhưng collocation/word-form errors xuất hiện thường xuyên.
GRA ≈ 5Có thử complex structures nhưng errors về agreement, articles, clause structure và word forms rất thường xuyên.
1. Fix clause grammar before adding vocabularySubject + finite verb + complement phải chắc trước.
2. Build reference chainsan international body → such organisations → member states.
3. Replace translated collocationsaffect badly to, cure crisis, sacrifice benefit.
4. Keep examples structurally simpleOne cause → one consequence → link back to claim.

Band score ước lượng

Overall
5.5
ước lượng bài gốc
5.0
TR
Task Response
5.0
CC
Coherence & Cohesion
6.0
LR
Lexical Resource
5.0
GRA
Grammar Range & Accuracy
Bài gốc 375 từ. Đây là ước lượng phục vụ phản hồi học tập, không phải examiner score.