IELTS Writing Task 1 — International Students Tables

Student: Duc Anh · Process diagram · 151 words
International-students tables with Canada and United States data for 2002 and 2003
Task 1 — Tables
The tables show how many international students studied in Canada and the United States by country of origin in 2002 and 2003. Source data reproduced exactly from the current review page.
Ảnh bên trái là đề gốc do giáo viên cung cấp; mọi nhận xét Task Achievement/Data accuracy trong review này lấy chính ảnh đó làm nguồn chuẩn.
Task Achievement / Data
Coherence / Logic chain
Lexical Resource
Grammar
Điểm mạnh / Band-up potential
Student Essay — 228 words

The chart illustrates the data of students from three different countries that study in Canada and the USA in a year of 2002 and 2003.

Overall, the USA have the larger amount of international students through out the given years. While Canada experience a upward trend in the number of students moving into the country for studying purpose.

In Canada, China have the largest amount of students in both 2002 and 2003 respectively 5,400 and 7,850. Right after is the USA with 5,000 in 2002 and increase to 5,450 students which is about 9%. Last one is India in the year 2002 have about 2,100 learners and rose 17 percent to 2,835 in the next year.

The other country which is the USA have a noticeable larger number in foreign students to compare with Canada. India stood at first place with approximately 200,000 exchange students but have decline 9 percent of learners in the subsequence year and remains only about 182,000. Overseas that pursuing academic goals that have origin country of China have only half of the Indian learners in the year 2002 and saw a growth in the next year to about 6,600 more students. Canada have the least learners at only 31,000 but have the most noticeable change in 2003 to approximately 33,200 in 2003.

Giữ — 4-part organisationIntro → overview → Canada → USA là khung dễ theo dõi; không cần đổi body plan.
Sửa — India in Canada2,100→2,835 là +35%; +17% thuộc total Canada.
Củng cố — comparison wordingDùng number of students, far more … than, fell by, rose from … to ….
Học thêm — overview xuyên hai tablesNêu USA far larger + Canada total grew faster (+17 vs +2) + một contrast group đáng chú ý.
IntroKhóa 4 thứ: two tables → international-student numbers → Canada/USA → 2002/2003.
OverviewĐi từ totals trước: USA lớn hơn; Canada tăng nhanh hơn. Sau đó thêm một group contrast nếu cần.
Canada bodyChina → USA → India + total. Giữ ranking nhưng check % theo từng row.
USA bodyIndia decline → China/Canada increases → total +2%. Kết paragraph bằng total giúp đóng dataset.
Data keyMỗi fact = host → origin → year/value → change.
Đừng nhầm row% với total%India Canada +35%; total Canada +17%.
Overview selectionKhông cần mọi row; chọn total scale, total growth và một exceptional trend.
Comparison languagefar more than / by contrast / rose by / fell by / from … to ….
TA = 6Relevant overview được attempt và hầu hết figures đúng, nhưng India-in-Canada % bị gắn sai và overview chưa khai thác main contrasts tốt. Chặn 7: accuracy + overview selection.
CC = 6Macro-order rõ: intro/overview/Canada/USA. Chặn 7: fragment While Canada… và sequencing/reference còn mechanical.
LR = 5Nhiều phrase làm meaning thiếu tự nhiên: amount of students, right after is, noticeable larger, overseas that pursuing…. Chặn 6: word-choice precision chưa đủ ổn định.
GRA = 5Agreement, tense và sentence frames lỗi thường xuyên dù vẫn có complex attempts. Chặn 6: complex structures chưa đạt accuracy tương tự simple forms.
1. SửaIndia Canada = 2,100→2,835 = +35%; total Canada = +17%.
2. Học thêmOverview dùng 2–3 cross-table patterns, không chỉ “USA larger”.
3. Củng cốCount nouns + comparison: number of students / more than / larger than.
4. Củng cốPast tense cho 2002/2003 và một subject rõ trong mỗi sentence.
GiữCanada paragraph riêng, USA paragraph riêng.

Band profile ước lượng

Overall profile
5.5
Criterion avg 5.50 · learning use
TA
6
Task Achievement
CC
6
Coherence & Cohesion
LR
5
Lexical Resource
GRA
5
Grammar Range & Accuracy
TA 6 · CC 6 · LR 5 · GRA 5 (criterion average 5.50). Hầu hết key data được report và organisation rõ, nhưng một row percentage bị gắn sai; lexical/grammar imprecision xuất hiện xuyên bài. Đây là ước lượng học tập, không phải điểm examiner chính thức.